INGLORIOUS BASTARDS, G.I. JOE, COLD SOULS…
INGLORIOUS BASTARDS
First off, lemme say that Tarantino is incapable of making an un-entertaining film. He has an understanding of movies that a lot of American directors don’t have, and I appreciate that. Now, with all that nice shit outta the way, I have some MAJOR issues with his most recent film; “Inglorious Bastards”. Just like all of Quentin Tarantino’s other films, Inglorious Bastards is a “movie mix tape” of a specific drama. In this case, it’s the “men on a mission” war movie genre (“dirty dozen”, “the great escape”, “ice station zebra”, “inglorious basterds” (1978), etc). Tarantino (kinda) stays true to the formula of those movies. For example, a ragtag group of WW2 soldiers are sent off to do a special side mission, which usually includes killing Nazi’s. In fact, the final Mission in Inglorious Bastards is a direct homage to the final mission in; “Dirty Dozen” & “Inglorious Basterds” (1978). The first major problem with the film is that it’s called “Inglorious Bastards”, but the “bastards” are only in about 1/3 of the film. Yes, the trailer is quite deceiving. One of the key elements of the of the old WW2 action movies that the film was paying homage to, is that they always give a back story on each member in the group of solders sent off to do the mission. In Tarantino’s film, they only do this with one of the “Bastards” at random (which is one of the best parts of the movie, but still…). The next problem I have with the movie is the same problem I’ve had with Tarantino since the last half of Kill Bill 2. And that is; the unnecessary, sometimes forced, wordy dialogue. Sometimes Tarantino gets so caught up in trying to write “cool” sounding dialogue that it just goes on and on, and it eventually takes you out of the movie. For example, at the beginning of the film, the main villain asks someone if it’s ok for them to continue their conversation in English and not German. This would be fine, but it took about a page & a half of the script for him to get to the simple point of asking if they could continue their conversation in English. Sometimes the script in Inglorious Bastards is quite similar to the pointless talk between the female characters in “Death Proof”, you find yourself wanting to scream; “GOD, GET TO THE FUCKING POINT ALREADY!” My last issue with the film is that I couldn’t help but imagine how much better the movie would’ve been with the originally intended cast, including Tarantino regulars; Michael Madsen and Tim Roth (they were officially signed on at one point), and rumors of Samuel Jackson (who ended up narrating the film) and Sylvester Stallone making appearances in the movie as well. Now, don’t get me wrong there are some Great parts in the film, mainly by actors; Til Schwiger, Michael Fassbender and the main villain character played by Christoph Waltz. Plus Tarantino doesn’t hold back on the violence (which is something new, because in the past most of the violence in his past films are shot just off camera). Plus, I’m aware that this is a Tarantino movie, and just like the Coen Brothers, you’re still probably going to see it no matter what. But just be aware, you might find yourself day dreaming off from time to time, and the TITLE CHARACTERS aren’t in the movie as much as the trailer would have you think.
G.I. JOE
Curiosity got the best of me, and I couldn’t resist seeing this. I can’t help it, I’m a child of the 80’s. From religiously watching the Saturday morning cartoon, to having my parents mail order the “special edition” Refrigerator Perry action figure,”GI Joe” was a major part of my youth. I was also curious about seeing “GI Joe”, because one of my current favorite actors, Joseph Gordon Leviit, was playing cobra commander. After his success with “3rd Rock from the Sun”, Levitt, made a serious effort to only make good films. Up until “GI Joe”, he was making good on his word with movies like; “Manic”, ”Mysterious Skin” and “Brick”. His run of good films has pretty much ended with “GI Joe”. I honestly thought we were going to finish this decade off with 2008’s “Speed Racer” being the worst movie of the decade, but G.I. Joe just barely snatched that title in the nick of time. Now, I know what some of you are thinking; “But Marcus, we already knew this movie was going to be bad. Just look at the trailer”. No. I seriously don’t think you can understand HOW bad this movie is without seeing it. Imagine “X-men 3” and “Mortal Kombat 2” combined with the Jean Claude Van Damme “Street Fighter”. …Yeah, that Bad. With the budget that “GI Joe” had I was surprised at how bad some of the special effects were. Some parts were so bad, that they might as well have just shown the green screen that the actors were really standing in front off. With millions & millions of dollars, there’s no excuse for that. And my preconceived notions about Marlon Wayans being cast were right. At random points through out the movie, he throws in unnecessary “token black guy” one-liners to break the ice (similar to Ajax in “Mortal Kombat 2”). Unfortunately, with the amount of money this movie has been making (it was the #1 movie in its first week. Good job America) combined with the way the movie ends, there’s clearly going to be a sequel. I can only imagine how bad that’s going to be…
COLD SOULS
I’m a little pissed, because I had the choice to see this or the new vampire film by Chan Won Park (“oldboy”). But because Vampires are the new “in” thing, I didn’t wanna play in to mindless pop culture, so I decided to see this one instead. Bad choice. With the success of just about anything Charles Kaufman touches, it was only a matter of time before someone totally ripped off one of his stories. In the case of Paul Giamatti’s new movie; “Cold Souls”, the copied Kaufman story is “Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind” (mixed with a hint of “I Heart Huckabees” and another Kaufman story; “Being John Malkovich” here and there). In “Cold Souls”, Paul Giamatti plays a fictitious version of himself (*COUGH* “BEING JOHN MALKOVICH”!). In the movie, Giamatti is going through a mid-life crisis, and at the same time, is having problems tackling his latest acting role. Eventually he comes across a business add that offers to remove your soul, in order to clear your conscious and start over (VERY similar to the mind erasing company in “Eternal Sunshine”). A problem arises when Giamatti wants his soul back, but its stolen and smuggled to a bootleg soul smuggling rink in Russia. That part of the movie may sound somewhat interesting, but if you’re familiar with Charles Kaufman’s work, you’re going to have a hard time getting past how much this movie blatantly steals from him. And honestly, with last years “Synecdoche, New York”, Kaufman’s trademark convelutedness (is that even a word?), is starting to wear a little thin. “Cold Souls” is even shot to look just like “Eternal Sunshine” and “Malkovich”. Plus, Giamitti plays the regular frumpish, slouchy, grumpy character he’s been playing in just about every movie he’s been in since “American Splendor” (a great movie and performance by the way). Charles Kaufman, Spike Jonze and Michel Gondry should be flattered. Well, I guess that does it. I didn’t have too many nice things to say with this review. I’d get in to “District 9”, but I need some time to wrap my mind around that one. But to hold you over, if you haven’t seen it already, imagine “Children of Men” directed by George Romero, set in the slums of South Africa. That’s the best I can do for now.
-Marcus